Days Until Heartbreak/Seeking Solace
i need to hide i need to find a place because i am seeking solace part fifteen of Days Until Heartbreak "I can't believe you!" I stare at Ice in shock, "I always thought that the day I saw you was just a fluke. Some mistake. Maybe I was seeing things or something. But it's real. You hid this secret from me! Why would you choose her of all she-cats?" The white tom won't meet my gaze. But at my words, he jerks his head up. "You saw me with her before today?" He looks terrified and possibly mortified. I nod stiffly, "I was looking for you and I saw you with Shineblossom. You were talking with her, your head bent over hers. It looked like you were in love, and I'm not wrong!" My voice rises hysterically. Tears are streaking from my eyes and I can feel the tear stains on my cheeks. Ice softens a bit and he almost looks regretful. I think that he's going to make everything better. He'll tell me that it was a mistake and that he didn't love Shineblossom at all. "No, you're not wrong," he says instead. Some part of my heart breaks. This is why I insisted on having no love before I met Ice. Because Aura - no I'' am right - love ''does build you up and breaks you back down. Only the best sort of love will hold you in its paws forever. Ice is the first one to turn away. "I'm sorry, Sari, I didn't want it to turn out this way." Before I can say anything else, he walks away. I know I can't stay here anymore. My paws finally remember to move and I'm flying across the territory before I can help it. I need a new home. I need to find solace. ~ My wanderings have brought me to the Clan. I know I'm not thrilled to be here since Shineblossom lives here but perhaps I can execute my revenge plan here. Maybe this place - a home that fosters and gives birth to such demons - could be my solace just for now. Only because it will take me to my enemy and allow me to get the revenge I need. To win back the tom that I thought was mine and mine alone. I pause in front of the border, unsure what to do. Do I wait for one of those infuriating patrols to come by? No, I'll risk being caught by the toms, or even worse, Aura's group. Sighing, I brace myself and walk across the border. I sort of expect some sort of dreadful feeling to overcome me, or perhaps I'll drop dead just from crossing the dangerous borderline. When nothing happens, I shake out my pelt in embarrassment and explore the new terrain. After all, I'll need to know it someday. It's better if I learn it first before entering the Clan so I don't make a fool of myself. After strolling around and getting lost in Clan territory, a hear shouts of cats behind me. "Hey, rogue! Stop!" I jump slightly, not used to how easily cats can hide in this territory. I whirl around and in the lead is a pale brown she-cat with yellow-orange eyes. I think about running for a second, and then eliminate the idea. I wanted to join the Clan, didn't I? "What are you doing here, deep in StormClan's territory?" the she-cat growls. Her short fur is bristling and I involuntarily take a step back. "I-I want to join the Clan," I blurt out. The she-cat narrows her eyes. "Why?" another cat challenges. The speaker is a fluffy black and white tom. His amber eyes are glaring at me. "What do rogues like you want with StormClan?" I fluff out my own fur, angry that the Clan doubts my motives. The first she-cat who spoke waves him down. "Patchpaw, it's not in your position to say such things." The tom sulks silently in the back, his beady eyes still watching me. The brown she-cat glances at me again. "I cannot speak for my leader about you joining StormClan. Come, I will take you to Ivystar and she will decide." Where? I think as I slowly follow the patrol of cats away, Do they have a camp too or all they all scattered around the area? Now that I think of it, I don't know anything about the Clans. We enter a vast clearing where there are several cats milling around. At our entry, they turn and stare in surprise when I enter. I'm not uncomfortable with the attention since in my old group, they all watched me in the camp. "Wait here," the brown she-cat murmurs. I do as she says and calmly sits down. The patrol are still standing awkwardly around me. I don't understand. Don't they have duties in the camp that they must do? Or if not, it would be smart to have rest because if you don't, you'll be bone-tired when you're called upon to do another round of hunting or something. But as I glance around, I realize that there are a lot more cats than I had in my group. Cats fill all the dens and there are enough to go around so you only have to do one or two patrols a day. The Clan certainly is well developed. A calico she-cat - a rather pretty one - emerges from a den up on a rock wall. She gazes down at me with kind, glittering green eyes. "You wish to join the Clan?" she asks as she leaps down elegantly from her perch. Everything about her radiants perfectness. Yet, she doesn't act like Shineblossom or what I imagined all Clan cats would act like. I nod quietly. I don't feel compelled to talk in front of someone who shines and gives off goodness. "Wonderful!" Ivystar beams, "Mousestreak here will take you around. After a few days, we'll see where I can place you. You don't look too old." "Sixteen moons," I reply instantly. The calico purrs. "You would be a warrior then. I assume you know how to fight and hunt?" Are you kidding me? Do they think that we as rogues ''can't do those sort of things?'' I merely nod again, not wanting to make a bad impression. This is my only chance anyway. I don't think the Clan will let me have second chances. Ivystar flicks her tail. "Mousestreak, show her around. Oh, what's your name, rogue?" "Sari." The calico leader smiles again. Everything about her seems sweet and flawless. How could she be the leader of such a cruel group? Unless I'm wrong about the Clan. Mousestreak, the pale brown she-cat from before beckons to me. "I'll show you the territory and then we can come back to the camp." I'm not really an amenable she-cat, so it ticks me off that I need to be shown the territory. Shouldn't cats know the terrain before being allowed to enter? I suppose it would be hard to understand the territory without being accepted as they would attack you on sight. I don't understand StormClan at all. I hope they don't try to teach me fighting moves. That would be a disaster. Plus, I've beaten back so many toms it's laughable that they think I would need teaching. Mousestreak leads the way out and I reluctantly follow. Perhaps this wasn't the best choice of solace, although it will be enough for now.